Sunday, June 26, 2011

...Keeping up with the Joneses? Really?

One of the biggest challenges to breaking free from a man that hits, intimidates or threatens, is the natural desire to keep up with the "Joneses".
A lot of unhealthy relationships still have healthy aspects to them...for instance, the bills could be paid...the house can be beautiful...and the the lifestyle very secure...but beneath the surface lurks profound dysfunction.  Outward signs of security, sometimes...a lot of times...speak success to us...also, some of us are taught that making on it on our own is hard... tiring...and is not secure...basically, we are told that we cannot make it without a man, any man. And we are taught to not only keep up with the Joneses, but to worry about what they think of us.

...but eventually there has to be something inside of us that says 
"Jump in a lake, Mr and Mrs Jones, because I am worth more than keeping up with you"

...The reality is, living life on our own is hard, especially for those of us that have children. As for me and my two children? Well, the difficulty of living on our own was compounded because my son was disabled.

And one of the most painful truths of my life?One of my unhealthy relationships facilitated my son becoming disabled. 

So, it is darned hard to start over...especially without help, resources, and emotional support...but the alternative is worse...because whether a man is pre-battery...a full blown abuser...a druggie...or any other kind of addict...well, the thing is that you don't know that today he might just snap and your life could be over. matter how hard it is always better to get out, and be safe, than to stay...and the best piece of advice I ever got was not to tell my abuser I was leaving...because if they know, they hurt.

Let me know how you are doing.


A portion of the proceeds from novel help support local women's shelters

If you need immediate assistance, dial 911. 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

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