Friday, June 24, 2011

Do we all abuse? Great question.

So at some time any person who has gone through abuse will ask themselves a question like this...which is, do we all abuse???

20 years ago yelling or spanking wasn't considered some households it was just the average pre dinner routine.
But now courts are saying we cannot even spank our children for goodness sake.
When I speak of abuse I am not speaking of yelling at your kids...or even spanking them...I am speaking of adult on adult physical violence.
My ex once punch a hole in the wall and then said "I bet you are glad you aren't the wall"...and that is abuse. So too of course is getting punched.
So in answer to the question...I think we can all abuse...cross a line...or even "lose it" big time...the abuse comes in making the other person afraid...the abuse comes in the power play...
...the abuse comes in exerting power, fear or intimidation over the other person.

If I want my children to learn to respect others, they must first respect me...but making them fearful is not the same as respect...
And in a marriage or love relationship, why would there be any cause for instilling fear or intimidation...? In a romantic relationship there is no authority figure...and yet many marriages are conducted that way...
I am deciding as I write this that I will most likely never marry again...I am not cynical to love...far from that...but what if I am too damaged to ever do it justice?
Okay so I am bright, educated...heck I can be a laugh a minute riot...but can a person get to the point where they are unable to trust? Sometimes I think that I have.

In proverbs in the Bible it says words to the effect that we are not make no friendship with an angry man...and with a furious man we should not go...lest we learn his ways and get a snare unto our souls...
But what if we have been with more than one furious man? are we damned? No. I do not think that is what it is saying...I think it means we can learn their bad habits...we can learn their disregard for respect...which could explain how some women can go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship.

Let me know how you are doing.


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If you need immediate assistance, dial 911. 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

1 comment:

  1. it is scary to think about just how many people have survived abuse...and scarier still to think about the one who didn't make it out...