Tuesday, September 13, 2016


Imagine actually believing that you don't deserve to be happy. Being so downtrodden that every decision is put through the filter of
"what does ot matter, I don't deserve to be happy, anyway?"

After a while careless decisions become easier and easier to make. Excuses for not achieving, not overcoming become easier and easier to find. Until nothing seems to matter.

Spiritual Warfare is real, and it takes place in the soul...the soul consists of the mind, emotions and the will. Why does it happen there? Because that part of our natures is not made new when we become born again. Our spirits become new, not our souls. And so begins the battle, the strife, between soul and spirit.

The soul remembers, the soul meditates on thoughts, emotions, and the past. The soul worries.

The balance is so filling our lives with the Word of God, the things of God, the actual presence of God, that our spirits bring our souls into alignment with Godly character.

One of the parables that Jesus spoke of was becoming "good ground". In order to become good ground we have to allow the thorns and weeds of this life to be dug up and routed out. Thoughts, emotions and the past, especially negative ones, can be thought of as the thorns and weeds that need to be dug up, in order to make us "good ground".

So the message that I got, and operated under for most of my life "that I don't deserve to be happy" was a weed. A negative impact on on the way I thought of myself, my choices and my corner of the world.

God doesn't automatically, nor instantly, just make us good ground. In fact, it is left up to us to do that kind of work.

Sunday, September 11, 2016


...Jordan and I sit alone, tonight...in a shelter...for battered women...I post this because the kind of judgment that gets passed on me? Was why am I living like this, at this stage in my life?
Women who have been abused, raped, taken advantage of, are supposed to break the cycle of abuse, get to a safe place and get help...so I did...
But it is inconvenient, embarrassing and frankly, not well tolerated...but, I did what I was supposed to do, to not be hurt anymore...
So who really can judge?
Would you want your daughter, sister or mother to be hurt, damaged and devastated, just to save face?
The Bible says 7 times a man falls, and 7 times he gets up again...
It seems funny to me, that the ones who judge the most, are the same ones who ask why abused women don't leave...see the two edged sword of it all?
Some women don't leave abusive situations, because mean spirited people judge them, and make things harder for them...so, please shut up...seriously, unless you have walked even 10 ten steps in these shoes...