Saturday, December 3, 2011

Speaking Engagements

"The House that Silence Bought" can be ordered at any major bookstore or online website...including on Amazon, Tate Publishing online...and Ingram Book Company/Distributors for local retail ordering...ask for "The House that Silence Bought",  beginning February 2012!!!

(Also being marketed in Internationally in countries like Japan, Sweden, Finland, Germany...!!!)

A portion of the proceeds from novel help support local women's shelters

So how do you give back once you have survived an abusive situation and you are doing better?
My first male/female relationship was abusive. And it set the tome for my other relationships. I did very little in the way of counseling, growing or healing in that first experience, so more than a few of the relationships that followed were equally as destructive.
My problems was that I was so insecure that my entire concept of who I was based on what others thought of me. If they thought well then I could could function; but if they did not I was stymied. Looking to those who should love you unconditionally to love you is normal and healthy; having them not love or support you is not normal.
But regardless of how my problems got to be my problems; they were in fact my problems. The untangling part came in not only figure out how I got that way; but trying to re-parent everything that I didn't know was broken.

Some of the things that worked for me was therapy, a relationship with God, becoming brutally honest, attempting to become assertive, reading self help books, and writing.

That's why this novel is so important to me. I have been writing since I was 11...always wanted to be a published author. I have written other great novels. But this was about what me, Judah and Jordan overcame. It was painful to write, because it had been excruciating to live.

I am available to speak at you Church, Women's or Recovery group. Please contact me, Michelle aka Shelby Anderson at

Not every women/person that overcomes will have the desire to reach back. Coming up out of an abusive situation is difficult enough that they may not want to re-trace their steps. And here is the sobering thought, some will not overcome at all; they dies in their mire. They don't get to overcome. I met women in shelters who are now dead. And my son almost died. Life can be tragically short.

This novel is for them, as much as it for much as it for us.

So even if I was afraid to speak in public I would do it. I would do it for my kids. I would do it for women who have been in my shoes.  I wouldn't have known when machines were keeping Jordan alive, that I would one day feel this way; that I would one day welcome the chance to share in front of others the nightmare that I thought we would never overcome.

But more than just spouting off about our tragic little story, I want to here about you. Of course, I only want you to share if you are in a safe place to do so. If your abuser can watch over your shoulder, track your internet searches...or things like that...then don't share...don't put yourself in a precarious position on purpose. Safety is job one in the life of someone who is afraid.

My novel describes not being able to count on people in life, especially when the chips are down. Maybe you can relate. But the truth is, we are all alone in this world, even in functioning families. Ultimately our choices will fall to us. and if we find ourselves in the middle of a mistake, our getting out will fall to us. That's scary to say, scary to realize and very scary to live. Family, friends and support groups can only go so is nice if they are there...but in the end if you have to get out, get out even if you do not have anyone supporting you. It is that important!

Let me know how you are doing.


If you need immediate assistance, dial 911. 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Born to unusual, but nice, parents, Michelle/Shelby grew up rather uneventfully, living mainly in the deep south (Alabama). Later she would learn that it was her parents' love for her that not only brought them together, but had kept them together. And so life was ideal in many respects and distressing in others. Eventually though the family did scatter like leaves on an autumn morning. Fortunately she was able to extract a sincere appreciation for love, beauty, and an abiding respect for those who at least try.

The single greatest influence in her life was the remarkable time spent with her paternal grandmother;  it was under this influence that she thrived. Her grandmother introduced her to not only fine Literature, but also the Arts and the Opera. And it was beloved grandmother who told her that if she wanted to be a great writer she must first learn to be an avid reader.

Early adult life would be peppered with indecision, failings, and the haunting of things not learned in childhood. But as is the case with most sincere artist, out of the angst of life came a great capacity for creativity.

Shelby considers her writing a gift...a joy, a tremendous responsibility, and something that helps to define her life.
Ms. Anderson is a graduate of Oregon State University; and is also currently working on a master's degree.

She lives in very picturesque Central Oregon with her two children. 

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