Sunday, September 4, 2011

Approval Addiction

...ever reach a point where you can no longer stomach something? I am there...and it is curious because some days are good...and some hard...but today I can bear it no longer... it is hard when you have gone most of your life between being a doormat and a royal "beehive"...especially when in reality you are always somehwere in the middle...assertive is good...but when you are not practiced at it you might feel that you will explode when confronted/or required to confront...

...but the truth is you won't expolde...and assertiveness is better than being a doormat...and much better than being a "beehive"...

...I am in a very difficult position...and sadly have to confront someone who is very immature, volitile and full of pride...but what I am learning about assertiveness is that we are not responsible for how someone views us...we are however responsible for putting proper boundaries around ourselves...being respectful...and being responsible...none of which requires that we take on other poeple's bends and sometimes breaks us when we have to measure wat we say...walk on egg shells...or have to spoon feed people...especailly the immature, volitile and those full of pride.

I don't want to marry you...I am not confortable with this situation...I don't want to have sex with you...things like this have always been hard on me...why? freakin approval was crippling...

But it is true...there comes a time when the only person you can for approval is yourself...that's a very scary and unnerving day.

Let me know how you are doing.


(Also being marketed in Internationally in countries like Japan, Sweden, Finland, Germany...!!!)

A portion of the proceeds from novel help support local women's shelters

If you need immediate assistance, dial 911. 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Born to unusual, but nice, parents, Michelle/Shelby grew up rather uneventfully, living mainly in the deep south (Alabama). Later she would learn that it was her parents' love for her that not only brought them together, but had kept them together. And so life was ideal in many respects and distressing in others. Eventually though the family did scatter like leaves on an autumn morning. Fortunately she was able to extract a sincere appreciation for love, beauty, and an abiding respect for those who at least try.

The single greatest influence in her life was the remarkable time spent with her paternal grandmother;  it was under this influence that she thrived. Her grandmother introduced her to not only fine Literature, but also the Arts and the Opera. And it was beloved grandmother who told her that if she wanted to be a great writer she must first learn to be an avid reader.

Early adult life would be peppered with indecision, failings, and the haunting of things not learned in childhood. But as is the case with most sincere artist, out of the angst of life came a great capacity for creativity.

Shelby considers her writing a gift...a joy, a tremendous responsibility, and something that helps to define her life.
Ms. Anderson is a graduate of Oregon State University; and is also currently working on a master's degree.

She lives in very picturesque Central Oregon with her two children.

No comments:

Post a Comment