Sunday, August 28, 2016

Do we all abuse?

So at some time any person who has gone through abuse will ask themselves a question like this...which is, do we all abuse???

20 years ago yelling or spanking wasn't considered abuse; in some households it was just the average pre dinner routine.
But now courts are saying we cannot even spank our children, for goodness sake. 

When I speak of abuse I am not speaking of yelling at your kids, or even spanking them. 

I am speaking of adult on adult, physical violence, verbal and mental abuse and sexual abuse.

My ex once punch a hole in the wall and then said 
"I bet you are glad you aren't the wall"
...and that is abuse. 
So too, of course, is getting punched.
So, in effort to answer to the question: 

I think we all can abuse, cross a line, or even "lose it" big time.

The abuse comes in making the other person afraid. The abuse comes in the power play.
The abuse comes in exerting power, fear or intimidation over the other person.

If I want my children to learn to respect others, they must first respect me...but making them fearful is not the same as teaching respect.

And in a marriage, or love relationship, why would there be any cause for instilling fear or intimidation? In a romantic relationship there is no boss, no parent, no authority figure. Yet many marriages are conducted that way.

I am deciding, as I write this, that maybe I may not marry again. I might, but the chances are small. I am not cynical about love, far from it, just pragmatic.

I wonder what God thinks of those who plead the cause for neglected pets, but see nothing wrong with aborting human babies? Sees nothing wrong with abusing humans.

I wonder if God's heart breaks when those who are mentally or physically disabled, are cast aside?

Don't get me wrong, I adore animals, but not to the exclusion of humans, and to the plight some humans face. 

How did we get so far off the path of caring for one another? 

...if I can impart any wisdom at would be to say, that those you cast aside, are human...despite their challenges they know if they are loved, respected and enjoyed...the can feel your apathy, they can tell you see them as a burden...and most of all your silence is deafening...

...when you decide which causes are most important to you, check out your own family first, and find those who are hurting, discarded and abandoned...before spending your energies on other things...even in the Bible we are admonished to care for the widows and orphans... (but are we?)

Okay, so I am bright, educated...heck, I can be a laugh a minute riot...but can a person get to the point where they are unable to trust? Sometimes I think that I have.

In proverbs in the Bible it says words to the effect that we are not make no friendship with an angry man...and with a furious man we should not go...lest we learn his ways and get a snare unto our souls...But what if we have been with more than one furious man? are we damned? No. I do not think that is what it is saying...I think it means we can learn their bad habits...we can learn their disregard for respect...which could explain how some women can go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship.

Let me know how you are doing.


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A portion of the proceeds from novel help support local women's shelters

If you need immediate assistance, dial 911. 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

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