So at some time any person who has gone through abuse will ask themselves a question like this...which is, do we all abuse???
20 years ago yelling or spanking wasn't considered abuse; in some households it was just the average pre dinner routine.
But now courts are saying we cannot even spank our children, for goodness sake.
When I speak of abuse I am not speaking of yelling at your kids, or even spanking them.
My ex once punch a hole in the wall and then said
So, in effort to answer to the question:
The abuse comes in exerting power, fear or intimidation over the other person.
If I want my children to learn to respect others, they must first respect me...but making them fearful is not the same as teaching respect.
And in a marriage, or love relationship, why would there be any cause for instilling fear or intimidation? In a romantic relationship there is no boss, no parent, no authority figure. Yet many marriages are conducted that way.
I am deciding, as I write this, that maybe I may not marry again. I might, but the chances are small. I am not cynical about love, far from it, just pragmatic.
Okay, so I am bright, educated...heck, I can be a laugh a minute riot...but can a person get to the point where they are unable to trust? Sometimes I think that I have.
In proverbs in the Bible it says words to the effect that we are not make no friendship with an angry man...and with a furious man we should not go...lest we learn his ways and get a snare unto our souls...But what if we have been with more than one furious man? are we damned? No. I do not think that is what it is saying...I think it means we can learn their bad habits...we can learn their disregard for respect...which could explain how some women can go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship.
Let me know how you are doing.