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A portion of the proceeds from novel help support local women's shelters
October 2010...(original post on Facebook)
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I am going to say this with as much love and courage as I can...
Number one...just because we have survived abuse does not mean that abuse is all that defines us...
Number two...Jesus is our Lord and savior and we have gotten to this point in life because of our faith in God...
Lots of well meaning people have listened to some of our prior struggles and felt the need to comment or give advice...most of the advice was along the lines that we were living in the past...nothing could be further from the truth...not in my marriage, not in the raising of our five kids, not in the accomplishment of my degree...not in the pursuit of my writing have I lived in, or longed for, the past...
I don't know how many of you are familiar with abusive situations...but so many times the abused person dies...or is disabled...or does not recover psychologically...and among the people who do survive and recover...so many do not reach back...not because they are unfeeling...they simply find it too painful to extend themselves in that area...I am a sister under the skin to so many of them because of my experiences...I respect their decisions...
I can, however, reach back...boldly...and with passion to any and all women and children who have been abused...to offer compassion...to offer support...to be an ear...to be a friend...It isn't that I haven't let go of what happened to me and the children...it is that we have been made whole by the grace of God...and we have a heart to reach back...to lend a hand...to help pull those out who would want to be helped and encouraged...
I feel an incredible amount of pity for those who could not be bothered with us when we were hurting...we are not bitter at them...we are not even upset with them...all we can muster for them is sadness...and a hope that God will heal the hurts that they have...
We talk openly about abuse not because it still bothers us...but because it doesn't have the power to hurt us anymore...
God was able to provide for us all that the people in our life could or would not...we are grateful...
But at no time should me and my children ever apologize for having been abused...we cannot make you more comfortable if you weren't there for us...that is a pain that you will have to take up with God...
We...like everyone else on the planet...wanted love and acceptance...nothing more...but certainly nothing less...
When families do not openly talk about abuse...and recovery...they keep the ugly cycle in motion...that is so sad...
If my talking...sharing...writing...embarrasses my family...what does that say about my family...?
If anyone in my life needs a room, a couch, a hundred dollars...to be bailed out of jail...a job reference...a meal...whatever...they would not have to beg or even ask twice...that I learned from scripture...
If I talk openly and courageously I can help another woman not to feel all alone in the world...I can help another woman resolve to make better decisions for her and her kids...
I can reach back to where I was...and help others untangle from the muck...what greater purpose could God have given me than that...?
Instead of being embarrassed about us...or by us...why not be thrilled that we want to help others...?
I will tell you how I know I am where God wants me to be in life...when Judah was 6 she had a dream...in it she went to throne room of God...he welcomed her...she sat on his lap...he said he had a special ministry for her in life...God said that so many people had been hurt by abuse in life...this abuse sometimes keeps them from being able to see God as Father...she was instructed to reach out to those who had been hurt and let them know that God could heal their hurts...and that God wants to able able to have a relationship with them...
We...especially Judah...are where we need to be...talking openly...offering help and hope...and being there for women whose families are too embarrassed to be there for them...
And if someone feels that they know more about what we lived through than we did...think again...people who only got their information from other people...and not directly out of my mouth...well...you have no idea what all was happening behind the scenes...and whats more, if you cared at all for me and kids, you could pick up the phone (even today) and ask us first hand what our experience was like...we have nothing to hide...
People have been led in prayers for salvation...have received healing...and have cried long overdue tears of grief after hearing our story...these are such good things...
There was little or no tension about any of this before I decided to write about it...for close to ten years everything was okay...and all of a sudden there was a torrent of disdain and anger...and for what?...major newsflash people...all those things we would rather people not know...God saw...God knows...we are not fooling anyone...
Be real...be transparent...and in doing so you yourself may actually help someone for the kingdom of God...
I love all you...well meaning, completely off the mark, people...but I am not going to stop trying to help other abused people just because our story embarrasses you....God can help you with that...just ask him...
So much love...just no pride at all,
Michelle and family
If you need immediate assistance, dial 911.
Born to unusual, but nice, parents, Michelle/Shelby grew up rather uneventfully, living mainly in the deep south (Alabama). Later she would learn that it was her parents' love for her that not only brought them together, but had kept them together. And so life was ideal in many respects and distressing in others. Eventually though the family did scatter like leaves on an autumn morning. Fortunately she was able to extract a sincere appreciation for love, beauty, and an abiding respect for those who at least try.
The single greatest influence in her life was the remarkable time spent with her paternal grandmother; it was under this influence that she thrived. Her grandmother introduced her to not only fine Literature, but also the Arts and the Opera. And it was beloved grandmother who told her that if she wanted to be a great writer she must first learn to be an avid reader.
Early adult life would be peppered with indecision, failings, and the haunting of things not learned in childhood. But as is the case with most sincere artist, out of the angst of life came a great capacity for creativity.
Shelby considers her writing a gift...a joy, a tremendous responsibility, and something that helps to define her life.
The single greatest influence in her life was the remarkable time spent with her paternal grandmother; it was under this influence that she thrived. Her grandmother introduced her to not only fine Literature, but also the Arts and the Opera. And it was beloved grandmother who told her that if she wanted to be a great writer she must first learn to be an avid reader.
Early adult life would be peppered with indecision, failings, and the haunting of things not learned in childhood. But as is the case with most sincere artist, out of the angst of life came a great capacity for creativity.
Shelby considers her writing a gift...a joy, a tremendous responsibility, and something that helps to define her life.
Ms. Anderson is a graduate of Oregon State University; and is also currently working on a master's degree.
She lives in very picturesque Central Oregon with her two children.
She lives in very picturesque Central Oregon with her two children.
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